i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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