I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
