Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
