I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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