she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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