We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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