Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
