I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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