you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
