his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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