this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
