Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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