I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
