I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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