I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize