Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
