I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
