took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
nutella sex= disaster
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
