He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
