I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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