oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
