Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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