So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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