his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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