I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
