Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
