and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize