just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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