Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
