Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
