I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Sorry my hands just texted you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
