You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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