I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
