i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think I sprained my soul last night
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize