GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
