you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I am midnight drunk by noon
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
