if i can run in heels then i can drive
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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