This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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