Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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