I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
