Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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