Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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