Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
