you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
