so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
