How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize