I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
