Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
