I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
