I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize