I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
