Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
