Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize