When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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