He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
