Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
