There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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