Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?

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(254): View more from Texas

Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced

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(805): View more from California

the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.

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(925): View more from California

What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party

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(541): View more from Oregon

We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.

(1-856): View more from New Jersey

I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?

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