My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
