I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
