I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
