Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
