I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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