i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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