Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
