Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
