i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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