i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
