Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
