i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
